On My Own
by xxseemoreclearly
Summary: All Marius has is regret when he realizes one thing... (One Shot)


DISCLAIMER:

I do not own the fantastic Les Miserables

**On My Own**

"Empty chairs at empty tables."

Marius stood up from the chair he was sitting in, tears were still wet on his cheeks. This is where everything began and ended. They talked of revolution in this room, who would have thought it'd end like this.

"Where my friends will meet no more."

A pale hand was held out in front of him, Cosette. He allowed her to bring him out of his abyss of mourning and into the light of the streets. Distant gunshots echoed as a memory in his ear, then he saw it. The very spot where he held his best friend until she passed. Marius immediately looked away, the memory was much too raw to visit. It may be forever that way. Letting one memory find it's way in will soon have all of the others flood his mind as well.

"Don't think about it, Marius." Cosette placed her hand on his face and he placed his over hers.

"With all the years ahead of us…"

Marius took her hand and said,

"Cosette…" He grabbed her hand, but then something caught his eye. A hat, red as blood and covered with dirt. He silently rushed to it, leaving Cosette without a second thought. He picked it up and dusted it off, the fabric was rough in his hands. Marius smiled down at it, and tears welled up in his eyes. It made him happy, but it also made him realize. Cosette came by his side and saw his expression, she touched his arm to get his attention.

"What is it?" She tried to touch the hat but he jerked it away from her.

Marius undusted a conversation…

"Hey there monsieur. Still pretending that your poor, come on I know your grandpas rich…" She said at my door smirking

"Ha! All my ties to him are broken. I'm just another scum of the street."

"I like the way you talk monsieur." She laughed.

"I like the way you always tease. " Marius took her hand and led her down the stairs.

"Cosette…I'm sorry"

"What?" She said swallowing

"I cannot stop thinking about it. My friends, they're dead and gone."

"With time you''ll heal, each step you take is a stronger one. The worst is over."

"You don't understand!" Marius said clenching the hat in both hands heavy tears wet the ground, "You will never understand their sacrifice. Their thoughts, their dreams, and wishes. Their brilliant sense of hope for the world. Or that I have to live while they die. I'm thankful for whoever gave me my life but they did not leave me much to live for. I've lost everything dear to me. Even thing dearest thing, though I didn't know it then. Not only that, I-I also cannot be with you. I can't stay here."

"And why is that?" her voice became very soft.

Marius looked at Cosette and thought of what they shared that only faintly remained. He didn't know how to explain to her, if he should lie or speak of truth, the truth would hurt. But the lie would only protect her breaking heart for so long. A tear dripped down her face and she looked down, blonde locks fell down her shoulder. The long silence worried her.

"This girl. You see, I hope you can understand, please try to, I beg of you. She's beautiful. Her eyes were the most beautiful ones I've ever seen. It was because in them you could see her entire story, deep as the sea. All the hope she had. Hope that we would succeed, hope that France could become a sanctuary through us. All the happiness because even though she lives in poverty she remains humorous and bright. All the light, because even when I reached my darkest of places she was alway there to pull me out. All the good, the kind of good you don't see in many people. Good that always put others first, that disobeyed laws and orders to fight for what's right. All the courage, the courage it took to come to the barricade disguised as a boy. The courage it took to bear a gun and die from one. For me. If only I knew then. That I had loved her all along. My best friend. The dearest person to me. "

Cosette sobbed, Marius offered her his handkerchief and she smacked it out of his hands.

"You are a no good lying-"

"I know, and for that I'm sorry. Hopefully another man will fill your heart with love, fill the hole I left."

She wiped her tears with her hands and fell to her knees still crying. She was in disbelief and angry. Angry at Marius because he broke his vow and and angry at herself that she couldn't see _it_ this entire time. As time passed _it_ would never fade, in fact _it_ would manifest into something so large _it _would have eventually driven them apart.

"Farewell." Marius said

_One year Later…_

Marius got out of bed and felt the ache in his back.

Marius wished they could still have simple little conversations again, to see her clever little smile again would mean everything to him. He didn't even know if she ever felt the same way. He was much too late to think of it anyway. Marius stood up and plucked the red hat from the hook and headed out.

"Marius you've got a letter."

Marius took the letter from the landlord and opened the wax seal.

_Dear Marius,_

_We left off on a unpleasant note. I'm sorry this letter is coming so tardy but I couldn't find the right words to say until now… I do understand, it took me so long to but I now do. You two were meant to be together, just the timing was wrong. Destiny changed with every decision you two made, maybe in another life you could have been together. Good luck to you, I hope you will reunite in heaven because I know she loved you as well. I saw the way she looked at you, the way she looked at me with sad eyes. You're very right though, she was very beautiful. Beautiful in a way I could never match._

_-Cosette _

Marius ran his fingers through his hair. "loved me as well?" he sighed. He was just about to visit her.

Marius stood at her grave. He adjusted his hat and placed flowers near her grave. It started to pour unexpectedly and water beaded on the flowers. Marius couldn't hold back any longer. He crouched over her grave and began to sob.

"Marius, Marius it is alright. A little fall of rain can hardly hurt me now."

"My god, what have you done?" Marius looked down at her lying in his arms.

"Just let it be, it's done already."

He touched the blood on her waist and starred at his hand.

"Don't worry, don't worry, I'm here-"

"That's all I need to know." She interlocked her fingers with his.

Her head was resting on his chest and tears ran down his face. His throat became tense and his heart began to quicken. His entire body was in panic, but he remained to appear level-headed for her sake.

"And you will live a hundred years! Mark my words, oh god above." Marius looked up to pray, soft droplets hit his face.

She smirked and looked to him, "I like the way you talk monsieur."

His voice cracked but he managed a smile "I like the way you always tease." he brushed hair away from her face.

He kissed her forehead and her hand went limp.

In his head he begged for forgiveness from her, about how unconscious he was about her feelings and his. He was lonely and empty inside an emptiness that only one person could fill. It was tragic for both of them, they would never have a life together, not a family or a home. They wouldn't share more happy memories, not dinners together or holidays or birthdays. Not have the luck of being in the right place at the right time and perhaps changing destiny. The only thing he had left of her was the hat she wore the day she died.

"On my own, pretending she's beside me." He said and sat down and buried his face in his hands.

"I'm sorry Eponine."

**Enjoy! **


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